endless thoughts

It's already week3 of FYP. Seems so fast but so slow when i'm in the lab. I hope the lecturer can be linear to me cause i've been really slack. I don't like the feeling of working alone cause i aren't independent at all. I so wish i was a 5 year old kid, so that i could cuddle my pillow all day and not think of anything. And somehow i think i lost memories or what. I need to read back my post to recall what has happen. I'm like living like a robot? My mind could just become empty like some wires in me just snap off. And then i will start to day dream. I hate this kind of life. It makes me so..so..so lifeless? Feel like a wandering soul in the school. Sometimes all these emotions just make me hard to breath.

Fly, bubble fly. Take me to anywhere, just don't burst.

wk2

I'm getting so lazy these few days. The things that my supervisor told me to do, i can drag like nobody business. And i didn't even bother to ask him about his requirements. (-_-)" Total slackness. Now i so hope i'm having my holidays. And i still can't accept the reality that i'm in Year 3 now. I don't wish to step into the society, guess i'm too pampered. When i was little girl, i wish i could know and do everything the adults do. But now, i rather i don't know anything and be a little kid. Human is always so contradicting. They never get satisfied with their life. After hearing so many tales or info from the ppl around me, i wonder how did i survive to the age of 19. Talking about age, i realised this year is my last teen birthday. I'm getting so old!!! Omg. And i start to think about what kind of life i will have when i grow up. Romance? Married? Children? Growing old? Is this the procedure of life? In fact, i don't know what i want. I'm person with no goal or speciality. I only have big big dreams that are most likely can't be achieved. And my brain is like getting emptier as time goes by. It's not absorbing any info. Argh~ enough of this mixed emotions.


Recently been addicted to the cute little Tzuki emoticons. I know i'm a bit too late, but who cares. =) The movements are all so adorable and funny! (>_<) Anyway, i wanna go shopping! GSS is here and i haven even step into any shopping malls yet. FYP is really draining me out. Whole day sitting at the com makes my shoulder ache so much. And my labmates seems to be getting along so well with each other except me. I feel like a zi bi kid. (-_-) But i'm NOT! I just don't know what to talk about. I am brain dead! Oh, and recently i done a quiz or whatever. It seems so accurate. It's like almost every quiz i take on this topic, the result will be the same. But i'm still doubting myself.

Missing those childhood times.

FYP!!!

After awaiting so long for IAP to end, i'm finally starting my FYP. But i'm not enjoying abit of all these, whether it is IAP or FYP, it totally sucks. Can't use msn messenger and the meebo keep disconnect me. Feel so isolated in my own corner. The lab mates are all so quiet. All doing their own things, so hardworking. Unlike me, i'm suppose to design 3 logos and 3 banners for my supervisor to see and i've only work a little. Why am i able to blog now? Cause there's no teacher and DT around. And why DT matters so much? Cause i just sit beside him, and i think he is the spy for my teacher. Anyway, last sunday was cousin's wedding. And it just so happen another couple was holding wedding at the same place as us. So practically we were hearing the same procedure twice. Haha. Double happiness eh? And i'm going to attend another relative's wedding next monday. Aww~ so many happiness filling the atmosphere. Hee.

Been wanting to redesign my blog but seems like i've got no time. Everyday after i reached home, it's always so tired. Even playing games can fall asleep. (-_-) Opps, my DT is back. Better stop blogging now orelse he may tell me off.

Haha. Interesting knife holder.

Oooo

It's already May! Counting down 13 more working days to end of IAP. I was pending for this day to come yet i'm afraid of whats after it. I want a break!!! It has been such long time since i last enjoy myself. Thinking of the past, there were so much memories, good and bad. And i suddenly feel that i'm old already. Why does time pass so fast while i'm not noticing? Anyway Mother's Day is coming, and i don't know what i will be doing. =/ Maybe discuss with bro first. And i am so glad my IAP period has 3 public holidays. =) The last one will be a long weekend.
I find that i've been eating alot recently, hope i don't grow fatter. Hmm, nothing much to update, working life is boring! Especially in this kind of no colleague situation, and you have to go lunch alone. It is just so dreadful!!! The next one to replace me, i just have to wish him/her good luck.

No matter what i do, all i think about is you.

Tommorow is FRIDAY! Haha. I love weekends more than ever now. Working life is so tiring. Now i understand why adults always say studying is the best. Yup, i think so now. The kind of you only have school work to worry about feeling, i kinda miss it. Secondary school's days are the most memorable. Cause that's when i'm really expose to the world, when i change so much, when i grown up so much, when i experience so much, when i understand so much. There's so many things that make up the present me. I want my future to be better and better. I want IAP to end faster. I want my FYP to be with my friends. I miss my girls so much. I want shopping. I want vacation. And the list goes on and on. But most importantly, what i need now is a nice long sleep and a sweet dream to make my day. =)

when life seems bored.

The 2nd month

It's already April. Right now i still don't like my job. I bet for these 3months my feeling will stay somewhat the same. My dark circles are getting from bad to worse. And no matter how much i had for my sleeping time, i always get sleepy during work. Even if i'm not sleepy at first, the long journey to work will sure put me in sleepy mode. This is so bad. And i hate my boss. He's a weirdo. At least i could get along with my supervisor who is so much friendlier than him. And these few days kept seeing a ren yao(half-guy half girl people). I can't be sure he/she is a female/male. Anyway it's none of my business. I miss my girls! Seems so long since we last met although it's just 2 weeks. It's already halfway of IAP. Let all these end soon, please. I should be going to bed now orelse i would get more nagging if i'm not in clear mind.

so tired to the extreme that i can't plan my future.

Will i go the wrong path?

It's Sunday!

It's already one month since the start of IAP. Everything was getting a bit better. But one thing i hate is, i have to give a reply to the boss next week on what can be improve on the web. I'm just too lazy to work on it. Seriously, i've got no motivation in this company. Nothing's wrong with the company nor the people, just me who can't adapt the working life of this job. Haiz, anyway i've got my pay already. Although its very little, but it still give me some satisfaction. =) Oh and i'm now blogging with my new CPU. =D It's definitely faster then that old and slow and buggy(as in virus) com. I want to install Photoshop CS3 but i can't find the serial, so can't play around with photoshop and other designing programs yet. I'm missing my life in the past. My life when i was still a secondary girl. Life was so much better way back, but i know i shouldn't stay on in the past. Since the start of IAP, the time spent with my family and friends have gotten lesser and lesser. I just want a proper break to have my mind in relax mode. There's some kind of emptiness inside me which doesn't go away.

i need to change, somehow.

week3 day1

It's the 3rd week of IAP already. Time is not going fast nor slow. The everyday routine is tiring me out. Plus the flu i'm having now, my working progress is greatly affected. My mind wasn't so right today. I almost make a mistake that the company might has some lost. And there's mosquitoes in my house. Makes me itchy all over. And home's pipe is having some problem. If the tap is turn on too big, the water will came gushing from the hole on the floor, and then flood. Bro went to buy parts for the new cpu. He hasn't come home yet. Think he will be staying over at his friend's house. And wed off he go to search for that Mas Selamat(spell correctly?) Won't be back till 2 weeks later. Haiz. That damn person makes the whole sg couldn't have a peaceful day. And i wonder if there is God in heaven? If there is, can they hear my prayer? I just want myself to be more smarter. At least the IQ & EQ for my age. I feel so dumb in everything. Feel like i couldn't do anything smoothly. I want to be independent but independent makes me feels lonely. Sometimes i just wish i hadn't grown up, hadn't understand so much. Enough of this emo entry. Some random pictures from don't know when till today's.

It's 1+am now, gotta go sleep. Nightz all.