sulking days.

It's been some time since last blog. CNY is somewhat going to over soon. No festive mood throughout, cause there's so many work to do! School is coming to half a sem soon. I don't know why i had this feeling of don't wanna time to moves on. Maybe I'm too scared of whats next when i grow old. I still can't imagine myself as an adult and getting married, give birth, being a mummy or grandma. The most i can accept now is as a poly student. And yes, i still can't accept the fact that I'm an undergrad now. Everything just happens so fast that i could hardly breath. As i grows old, time seems to ticks faster, like 24hours/day is always not enough.
BFF 21st is coming. Hmm..what should i buy? Pocket's hole is getting bigger. xp

p.s. why do you look so much like him? i can't concentrate now.

random daily stuff

Alright, it's the 4th week of school now. As usual, no time for resting. x( Right now I'm so eager for CNY to come because of the long break. At the same time, I'm hoping CNY does not come so fast because of the quiz, assignments, project after that. Argh~. There's no enjoyment period in my timetable!!! >=( NO LIFE IN NTU!!!!!!

And why is that there are so many airplanes flying near my hostel here?! It's like every minute got plane flying pass. Is it a flyover here in boon lay? And there is one damn disgusting insect in my room flying about ytd night. I can't sleep because of that, even though i feel sleepy already.

Anyway, i miss home even though i go back every weekend. =(


p.s: sometimes i just want to be an invisible person.

Smile =)

我相信人总该勇敢的走下去，所以我很努力的往前走。 曾经我因为某些事，把我的人生弄得一塌糊涂。 花了好长的时间才调整回来。 表面上看来我是个乖孩子，可是我有一个叛逆的心。 认识我很久的人就会知道。 最近我开始发现一种很久没有的感觉又浮现了。 是新的开始吗？还是我的幻觉在作祟？ 总值，我很感谢那些让我又能开心的笑的朋友和家人们。 我想我一值一来都是个幸福和幸运的女孩。 =）

another year for me.

It's already 2 weeks after school has started. What can i say? Totally overwhelmed by all the things that need to be done. It's gonna be a more tedious year than last year. But i must put in more effort to pull up my grades. And I'm glad i make even more friends now. =) Especially with Xinyi around, i can be myself more. I know i need to be confident just by myself, and am learning now. ^^ Looking forward for more smiles from everyone. =D Anyway CNY is coming again. Lol. A year passed by so fast. And it seems so yesterday that CNY is over only. As usual, the tradition is to buy new clothes! Haha. I love wearing new clothes on CNY because it means a new start for me. Talking about new clothes, i need to get a hair cut too. I dye my hair dark brown using the bubble dye. It was fun! Just like shampooing.

Oh, and SHINee is coming to SG on 31st Jan! I want to go see them! It's so rare that Korean group will come SG, so must grab the chance to become a crazy fan. Haha. I wonder who can go with me? O_o My komiChan doll on my blog is almost one year. Happy advanced birthday! Hahaha. XD

i want a "he" too.

2 more days.

Schools starting soon. I haven get myself prepare yet. One thing for sure, i hate UNI!!! I'm wondering am i wasting my time here studying. Cause i really don't know if i would get a job relating to what i learned. The more i'm growing up, the more i hate myself. I hate adults, so i don't wanna be an adult. Bro ask me about my future, i didn't reply him cause i can't see my future. I try to think but nothing good came out. I'm turning from an optimistic to an absolute pessimistic. What comes next? Depression. I hope i won't go to that stage in my life although a few times i doubt my existence in this world.

Happen to pass by a blog and find that these statements are quite true. Just to share with my readers:

• I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
• I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
• I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same goes for true love.
• I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
• I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
• I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
• I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.
• I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
• I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
• I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
• I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
• I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
• I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
• I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
• I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
• I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
• I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.
• I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
• I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
• I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
• I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
• I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
• I've learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.
• I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
• I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.
• I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
• I've learned that the people you care about most in life are sometimes taken from you too soon.
• I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.All you can do is be someone who can be loved.The rest is up to them.
• I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

If everything is what we wished for, the world might be a different world now. But it's not, so the world is changing me. Sometimes i envy people whom can get excited by any festive occasion. I lost that feeling during growing up process. Maybe in the future when i have kids, i might develop the feelings again.

Dear God, for the first time I'm truly believing in you. No, not any Gods of any religion but my own guardian that exists. I hope you can overflow me with many many happiness till the darkness in my heart goes away. Only by doing so my smile would returns. I wish to be a happy girl, really. So, please help me.

jaw drops...

My heart totally sank when i saw my grades just now. Although i expect not good grades but i hope for a pass in everything. BUT I FAILED MY ECONS!!!! DAMN!!! That means i'm gonna take another elective again!!! ARGH~!!!! I so hate myself! =(

curious leads to disappointment

I just went to check my exam results, and of cause it haven release till tml. But I'm still curious if any other page might release earlier. And so there is! But it only shows my GPA. I was totally disappointed with myself although i expected it. I can roughly guess my grades now. =(
There's no use crying over spilled milk, so i won't cry. But i do hope i can get at least 2nd class lower when i graduate. =/

Some things happened, and i have no confident it will be the same anymore.

a familiar face.

do you ever have this feeling when you see someone so familiar? You feel that it's that person but you just can't confirm that it's them. And something from the heart react to it. It does seems a bit like the drama i watch recently but it does happens on me. Especially after so long, i almost forget the face of this person.

Sidetrack. Christmas is coming soon, so do my birthday. =) Hope i could have a joyful christmas and birthday this year. And my new year resolution for 2010 is to be a more useful person. =)

have i seen you somewhere?