Wednesday, August 25, 2010

i think...

You’ve never really missed someone,
really miss them so much your heart feels bitter and sour and haunting perfect memories of last summer taunt you awake on starless black nights when the sky stretches on endlessly

I am typing up and retyping my scattering thoughts in the dark tonight, trying to scribble down every word and every syllable before they fall behind my thoughts
The windows feel too tight, the door too shut and the ceiling spinning, closing in
These sleepless nights, i imagine all the scattered words and fairytales with no endings and whispering beautiful songs i would whisper in your ear
But when i see you, all i could say is ‘I missed you’ just like anyone else would have said, with a blank expression and emotion, emotion stronger than the whole universe, bubbling inside of me

the window blows open by the late night wind and the blank curtains hover in the room, casting big shadows and reviving the most fearful, childhood nightmares

The wind blew hard and I sat on the steps breathing in the cold air, an atmosphere without you beside me.
They have all left, in crowds and in pairs, but I was still alone, breathing in cold air like a cigarette and ruining my lungs, wishing you were sitting beside me.
The words seem so close to my feelings. =/

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