december.hectic.

Wow, it has been so long since i update. Spider web forming already. =p

So many things i need to update. First is the common test. I think this is the worst test i've taken cause everything was left to the very last minute to study. Was already prepared for any worst scenario.

And next was the tons of project waiting for me to finish. Just by seeing the number of things need to be done already gives me headache. You know what? I haven start on any yet. Die man.

Last weekend was a big enjoyment cause it's my birthday! =D Haha. I'm so glad it turns out so successful. No serious arguement. No big big problem. Happy us at the chalet. =) But one thing is i didn't invite much people on my side. Majority were elaine's friends. And my clothes look like a towel. LOL. Wasn't in my best state but not my worst state either. Anyway, i enjoy myself. Thanks everyone for making this year birthday so special.

Next on the list is christmas! Many can't make it for the outing. =( But still, hope i could enjoy myself that day. Pray that day is not humid cause i don't want to get all sticky and sweaty. =X

It's end of the year soon, so its time for countdown too. =) Right now, left 8 more days before year 2008 ends. I want to go some countdown party or any countdown activity. It's the last year of poly, i want it to be a blast of activities. Enjoy myself to the fullest. ;)

I need to plan some time for CNY clothes too. Everything is going so rush.

Grant my wishes.

up up and away~

Watched 20th Century Boys on last saturday. Not a really good movie but not too bad too. Basically it's just about little boy's childhood fantasy coming true and "playing" with one another. And the logo is abit lame when you know it's bug's eye plus pointy finger. Holds no meaning. Anyway some super heroes thing la. Celebrate AP's birthday on Saturday, and glad she is happy. A new bag for her! But guess she needs some time to get used with the bag. Haha.

It's already november. How fast time goes. Piling up of things to do are moving slow. Anyway mum bought a mattress for me! It's like finally i got a proper mattress in my whole life. You can compare how thick and thin the 2 mattress are. Comfy bed makes me get weird dreams. Haha. Maybe just because i'm lacking of sleep that makes me had these dreams.

And i'm going tekong this wednesday! It is part of NE lecture to go visit the BMTC school. Although been there once, i'm still quite excited. Haha. And bro's friend show me one video of a person without limbs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USUvzKDroqM

Quite amazing for a person with no limbs able to live so well and so successful. Thinking whether to go for the talk tml cause there's school the next day and don't want myself to get so tired. And there's still so many "i don't know" things to do. Haha~ i don't even know what i'm talking now.

Smile* =)

weekends

Finally it's weekend!!! =D For the start of the first week, everything is stressing me out already. New software programs to learn, big projects, small homwork, presentation for outsider at the end the sem and some miscellaneous factors. Big kid is not so easy to be. And this holiday mood is still in my mind.

School is so, so, so boring. I didn't have enough sleep for the first week cause the habit of sleeping late still can't be change. And for saturday, i slept till almost 3pm before i wake up. It was raining so it feels so cosy and comfy in my bed. Haha. Will try to change this habit if not i can't pay attention in class.

Anyway these few days have been playing with facebook, listening to new songs, checking out dramas and looking for movies. Typical life, nothing special.

summer dreams.

coldness...

First day of school was no good. Second day of school was no good either. But what could i do. Getting from cold to colder and maybe going to frozen. It's so hard to continue studying when you know you're in the last sem. What's going to happen to all of us when we graduated? This question has been in my mind for a long long time. I need my sunshine to guide me through.

reverse the time.

souless

As complicated as it seems, i don't know what i'm doing anymore. It feels that my body doesn't link to my mind, my soul. Sometimes i wish i wasn't shihui for just a moment.

end of Sept.

It's almost the end of my vacation but why does it seems that i still have many things haven done. =/ I haven get myself a new bag, a fresh new set of clothes and my hair. =( Seriously i don't know what to do with my hair. It sucks. Aaaaa... tell me what to do. And talking about school reopen, it makes me somehow nervous again. Haven been studying for almost 7 months, how am i going to catch that study FEEL again. And its gonna be a brand new classmates for next semester. Lets hope everything will be the "happy family" atmosphere in the new class. =)

Anyway have been watching lots of drama at home, all are taiwan shows and some movies online. I think i'm going to be a drama addict soon. And heard from dad that aunt(or uncle?) strike 4D third prize and the numbers are from grandpa. Dad keeps on saying "aiya, why i buy never strike? I don't have money buy then strike?" (-_-) It's fate, dad. And recently i've been having dreams that makes me miss the past. And for the month of October i think i will be fat soon. Cause on the 3rd is FYP mates BBQ, and on 18th is sec school gathering, BBQ too, and another BBQ for aunt's house warming. 3 BBQs in a month, OMG. Tml still have to accompany Mum for some check up. It's getting late but i'm not sleepy but i've to sleep. Lol.

Off to my bed. =)

Boredness during FYP.

cheese LOVER

Just came back from gym. Hope i can be as slim as before. =X Anyway elaine has gone to Perth for 1 month!!! How i wish i have the ability to go overseas that long too. It goes, I need money, so i need to work, but i hate to work, but i need money. It's all a cycle. But i'm a lazy bum now so no working for me. =p Recently i seems to have a likeness for cheesy food. Monday went to have dinner with elaine before she fly off. Me and ting share a baked rice and potato salad. It was yummy. =)

And after having that baked rice, i decided to do one at home too. I kind of follow what the tv is doing, using cheese slice. And tada~

Hehe. Does it looks nice? O_o I told mummy it taste good and she wants me to do one for her too . (-_-) Although the rice is a little tasteless, the cheese saltness is enough for the taste. =) Hmm...nothing for me to update now.

Bye =)

vacation =)

No more counting down, its finally vacation for me! =D 3 months seems so fast in FYP. I will miss all the ppl in my lab. =D Although my bonding with them is not strong, but there's still a bond between us. I wonder what i'm going to do for this vacation other than going gym for slimming. Never really plan for this holiday but i will enjoy myself to the fullest of cause. Lets see, i actually need to buy lots of things, bags, clothes, some accessories maybe, and getting a phone plan??!! I don't know my last item can be fulfilled cause i would need someone to support me since i doesn't have income now. =( Mummy has been letting me use prepaid all along as i don't really spam sms or calls. But i can see now that my usage is getting larger, i would need a phone plan sooner or later. Anyway i wrote some of my thoughts during FYP on 11 august. It feels strange to have that feeling. Below is the thought:


"Sometimes i wonder if people can remember their past life. Because recently i keep havingimages in my mind that happened to me before but i can 100% sure that it didn't happen to me in my whole life.Is it my past life? Or is it something thats gonna happen? I don't know. The feeling keeps getting stronger and stronger. It shouldn't be my dream, right? It's likei remember bits and bits of things as i see certain things. Sounds like i've got amnesia uh? I don't know what is happening to me. I just feel that there is certain things inside of me which i don't know."


That feeling does gets stronger during that few days but not now anymore. Maybe i was stress about my project and had some illusion feeling??!! But i shall not let that thing bother me cause i doesn't feel it anymore.


Dad came back with a bandage hand. I was shock. His hand seems so swollen. The only sentence he reply from the moment he came home to sleep was "4 sitches." He must have been so pain to answer me any question. =( Heartbreak to see him always getting hurt from work. Suddenly i feel Dad has grown old. Maybe some task that he used to do wasn't able to do smoothly now. His health seems detoriating too so do mum's. Sometimes i thought, they wouldn't have to work if i was able to support myself. Blame me for being so pampered. =( This may be the last school holiday i'm having now cause i'm not sure if i'm able to get into a Uni. Alright, i shouldn't be so emo on the start of vacation right? Lets just hope everything goes my way. =)

i drew the face x)

in the midst of no where. running free. =)

week9

I wonder how am i going to present my project. Seems that i'm the only one slacking here. Anyway I'm counting down the days to end of FYP. It's so bored staying in the lab especially when you don't even know what web to surf anymore. Everything just keep repeating and repeating in a cycle. Aaaa~ i don't know what to blog now.

long long ago

It's 1.38am now and i'm still awake at here blogging. Been gaming these few days. Mum is nagging at my ears again. School has a sleepy environment which i can't stop yawning. And my lab has got super cold air-con which got me shivering most of the time. And we've got visitors who make us look like some zoo animals. *snap snap* Anyway, i was in daze most of the time. Thats how bored it is. Gotta go, nitez all. =)

it's nearer to my vacation. =)

Who is your DBSK best friend, husband, lover, boyfriend and brother
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Best Friend	Yoochun
Brother	Yoochun
Lover	Yunho
Boyfriend	JaeJoong
Husband	JaeJoong
This Quiz by lalilo - Taken 478 Times.

New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

OMG! JaeJoong and Yunho are my LOVES! XD And YooChun is my bestfriend and brother. Haha. I'm going crazy. =) You need to highlight the text in the box to see my name, something wrong with the code. =)

love is a miracle.

I can't believe i cried so much last night. It's been such a long time since i cried like that. The last time is when i was watching One Litre of Tears. Guess the drama really brought out alot of feelings in me. Yeah, it's Absolute Boyfriend (Zettai Kareshi). It was really a good drama and a good ending that doesn't leave you to regret. Was watching it in the middle of the night and i keep crying during the last few episodes. My sleeves were very wet by the time i finish the last episode. Lucky mum and dad were already asleep by then, or else they would think i am crazy. In fact i'm still crying when i'm in my bed. I don't know. That kind of feeling just kept swirling in my mind. Even thought i had watch the manga before, the drama had some parts which are unexpected too.





In just 4 weeks time, FYP is going to end. Somehow it just seems so much faster then IAP days. Working life is the most tiring, right? Sometimes i wish the pace could be slower down abit. A country life might suits me for now just to escape from the bustling city.

I wish to have a story of my own, but can i?

boredness moment

I'm so tired of FYP. Everyday 8:30 to 6 timing at the lab is really draining me out. Vacation~ do you hear me? Can you come faster? (-_-) I hate you, school. I'm going crazy sooner or later. This kind of life is far worse then me slacking at home. Aaaaaa...someone save me!!!

i live in fantasy =)

i wish...

I wish I wish I wish...

i wish i know what i want in my life.

i wish i can stop having dreams.

i wish there's no troubles in this world.

i wish i can sleep forever, not having to worry anything.

i wish for a someone to take me out of here.

i wish i could change.

walking alone

endless thoughts

It's already week3 of FYP. Seems so fast but so slow when i'm in the lab. I hope the lecturer can be linear to me cause i've been really slack. I don't like the feeling of working alone cause i aren't independent at all. I so wish i was a 5 year old kid, so that i could cuddle my pillow all day and not think of anything. And somehow i think i lost memories or what. I need to read back my post to recall what has happen. I'm like living like a robot? My mind could just become empty like some wires in me just snap off. And then i will start to day dream. I hate this kind of life. It makes me so..so..so lifeless? Feel like a wandering soul in the school. Sometimes all these emotions just make me hard to breath.

Fly, bubble fly. Take me to anywhere, just don't burst.

wk2

I'm getting so lazy these few days. The things that my supervisor told me to do, i can drag like nobody business. And i didn't even bother to ask him about his requirements. (-_-)" Total slackness. Now i so hope i'm having my holidays. And i still can't accept the reality that i'm in Year 3 now. I don't wish to step into the society, guess i'm too pampered. When i was little girl, i wish i could know and do everything the adults do. But now, i rather i don't know anything and be a little kid. Human is always so contradicting. They never get satisfied with their life. After hearing so many tales or info from the ppl around me, i wonder how did i survive to the age of 19. Talking about age, i realised this year is my last teen birthday. I'm getting so old!!! Omg. And i start to think about what kind of life i will have when i grow up. Romance? Married? Children? Growing old? Is this the procedure of life? In fact, i don't know what i want. I'm person with no goal or speciality. I only have big big dreams that are most likely can't be achieved. And my brain is like getting emptier as time goes by. It's not absorbing any info. Argh~ enough of this mixed emotions.


Recently been addicted to the cute little Tzuki emoticons. I know i'm a bit too late, but who cares. =) The movements are all so adorable and funny! (>_<) Anyway, i wanna go shopping! GSS is here and i haven even step into any shopping malls yet. FYP is really draining me out. Whole day sitting at the com makes my shoulder ache so much. And my labmates seems to be getting along so well with each other except me. I feel like a zi bi kid. (-_-) But i'm NOT! I just don't know what to talk about. I am brain dead! Oh, and recently i done a quiz or whatever. It seems so accurate. It's like almost every quiz i take on this topic, the result will be the same. But i'm still doubting myself.

Missing those childhood times.

FYP!!!

After awaiting so long for IAP to end, i'm finally starting my FYP. But i'm not enjoying abit of all these, whether it is IAP or FYP, it totally sucks. Can't use msn messenger and the meebo keep disconnect me. Feel so isolated in my own corner. The lab mates are all so quiet. All doing their own things, so hardworking. Unlike me, i'm suppose to design 3 logos and 3 banners for my supervisor to see and i've only work a little. Why am i able to blog now? Cause there's no teacher and DT around. And why DT matters so much? Cause i just sit beside him, and i think he is the spy for my teacher. Anyway, last sunday was cousin's wedding. And it just so happen another couple was holding wedding at the same place as us. So practically we were hearing the same procedure twice. Haha. Double happiness eh? And i'm going to attend another relative's wedding next monday. Aww~ so many happiness filling the atmosphere. Hee.

Been wanting to redesign my blog but seems like i've got no time. Everyday after i reached home, it's always so tired. Even playing games can fall asleep. (-_-) Opps, my DT is back. Better stop blogging now orelse he may tell me off.

Haha. Interesting knife holder.

Oooo

It's already May! Counting down 13 more working days to end of IAP. I was pending for this day to come yet i'm afraid of whats after it. I want a break!!! It has been such long time since i last enjoy myself. Thinking of the past, there were so much memories, good and bad. And i suddenly feel that i'm old already. Why does time pass so fast while i'm not noticing? Anyway Mother's Day is coming, and i don't know what i will be doing. =/ Maybe discuss with bro first. And i am so glad my IAP period has 3 public holidays. =) The last one will be a long weekend.
I find that i've been eating alot recently, hope i don't grow fatter. Hmm, nothing much to update, working life is boring! Especially in this kind of no colleague situation, and you have to go lunch alone. It is just so dreadful!!! The next one to replace me, i just have to wish him/her good luck.

No matter what i do, all i think about is you.

Tommorow is FRIDAY! Haha. I love weekends more than ever now. Working life is so tiring. Now i understand why adults always say studying is the best. Yup, i think so now. The kind of you only have school work to worry about feeling, i kinda miss it. Secondary school's days are the most memorable. Cause that's when i'm really expose to the world, when i change so much, when i grown up so much, when i experience so much, when i understand so much. There's so many things that make up the present me. I want my future to be better and better. I want IAP to end faster. I want my FYP to be with my friends. I miss my girls so much. I want shopping. I want vacation. And the list goes on and on. But most importantly, what i need now is a nice long sleep and a sweet dream to make my day. =)

when life seems bored.

The 2nd month

It's already April. Right now i still don't like my job. I bet for these 3months my feeling will stay somewhat the same. My dark circles are getting from bad to worse. And no matter how much i had for my sleeping time, i always get sleepy during work. Even if i'm not sleepy at first, the long journey to work will sure put me in sleepy mode. This is so bad. And i hate my boss. He's a weirdo. At least i could get along with my supervisor who is so much friendlier than him. And these few days kept seeing a ren yao(half-guy half girl people). I can't be sure he/she is a female/male. Anyway it's none of my business. I miss my girls! Seems so long since we last met although it's just 2 weeks. It's already halfway of IAP. Let all these end soon, please. I should be going to bed now orelse i would get more nagging if i'm not in clear mind.

so tired to the extreme that i can't plan my future.

Will i go the wrong path?

It's Sunday!

It's already one month since the start of IAP. Everything was getting a bit better. But one thing i hate is, i have to give a reply to the boss next week on what can be improve on the web. I'm just too lazy to work on it. Seriously, i've got no motivation in this company. Nothing's wrong with the company nor the people, just me who can't adapt the working life of this job. Haiz, anyway i've got my pay already. Although its very little, but it still give me some satisfaction. =) Oh and i'm now blogging with my new CPU. =D It's definitely faster then that old and slow and buggy(as in virus) com. I want to install Photoshop CS3 but i can't find the serial, so can't play around with photoshop and other designing programs yet. I'm missing my life in the past. My life when i was still a secondary girl. Life was so much better way back, but i know i shouldn't stay on in the past. Since the start of IAP, the time spent with my family and friends have gotten lesser and lesser. I just want a proper break to have my mind in relax mode. There's some kind of emptiness inside me which doesn't go away.

i need to change, somehow.

week3 day1

It's the 3rd week of IAP already. Time is not going fast nor slow. The everyday routine is tiring me out. Plus the flu i'm having now, my working progress is greatly affected. My mind wasn't so right today. I almost make a mistake that the company might has some lost. And there's mosquitoes in my house. Makes me itchy all over. And home's pipe is having some problem. If the tap is turn on too big, the water will came gushing from the hole on the floor, and then flood. Bro went to buy parts for the new cpu. He hasn't come home yet. Think he will be staying over at his friend's house. And wed off he go to search for that Mas Selamat(spell correctly?) Won't be back till 2 weeks later. Haiz. That damn person makes the whole sg couldn't have a peaceful day. And i wonder if there is God in heaven? If there is, can they hear my prayer? I just want myself to be more smarter. At least the IQ & EQ for my age. I feel so dumb in everything. Feel like i couldn't do anything smoothly. I want to be independent but independent makes me feels lonely. Sometimes i just wish i hadn't grown up, hadn't understand so much. Enough of this emo entry. Some random pictures from don't know when till today's.

It's 1+am now, gotta go sleep. Nightz all.