the third week

It's already the 3rd week of school. How fast. Getting used to the life here now. But my confident level still remains the same. =/ I so hate myself for not speaking up more, for not expressing what i feel. You know what? Sometimes i wish i hadn't been such a whimp. I feel like i don't even know myself...how am i going to introduce myself to others? This lost feeling makes me feel like giving up everything. The world that i live in...what is it? Soon i might be alone... and drifting away from everyone. Maybe all this is just my negative thoughts, but it's the emptiness in my heart. The belonging is not there...



What should i do to make that smile revive again and make it last?

where have u gone?

Lost?

I don't know what i am thinking now. Maybe i may type rubbish so no offence to anyone.

After entering Uni, i don't know is me who keep thinking this way or is the truth really this way. I didn't go FOC nor HSOC. All i know is jennifer who is the same course and roomies with me. It's like everywhere i go i'm making friends with jennifer's friends. It's not that it is not good or what. Just that i feel so weird. Everytime when i'm in school, physically i may be having many people around me but mentally i'm alone. Not that i don't want to make friends but i somehow lost my way of communicating with others. Maybe i isolate myself for too long, i don't know. I always hate myself when i am emoing. People will think i'm in bad mood and go further away from me.

I need a support....really..... ='(

2 days to school.

Happy Birthday Singapore! =)

9Aug
Went out with fen to town. Saw lots of little red dots all around Singapore. Haha. Went explored Orchard Ion & Orchard Central. Didn't really walk much there cause Ion makes us lost direction and Orchard Central's shops are not open fully yet. Anyway, bought a sandal for school and some snacks. =)

old school fav! =p

Suddenly feels that i need so many things for school and hostel. Blame me for my laziness during holidays. And i know it's my fault for not going any camps or whatever to meet more friends. But i am really not into camp and stuff. Alright, self declared "anti-social". =X I'm a hopeless girl. But i still wanna have fun. All i wish is to travel and travel if i had that kind of money. =( And i have to do something with my hair soon. Super hate it! But i don't know how am i going to revive it. @_@
Haiz. Can i turn back time for a moment? I wanna be a small kid again. =)

5Aug
Sitting alone on the train makes me realize how much i yearn for a companion. I'm always so dependent on others. How do i step forward in my life from now? At one time thinking so eagerly to meet new people, at another time thinking so afraid of whats there. I hate those water droplets. Don't come again anymore.

New Chapter.

Just left 1 more week and school starts. Haven really have any confident in doing well in my course. Anyway what i study might not be what i will be in future. My holiday mood is still hugging on to me, and the slacking bug just won't go off. =P I wonder what kind of friends will i make in this school. *scratch head*
And i'm stepping on to my 2s this year. How fast. But you know my heart stays young forever! =D Haha. Although sometimes i really do miss the past, i told myself that i would make more beautiful memories to let go of these thoughts. There's still many things that i wanna do before i grows old. Hope i can reach that target.

QET test tml! Hope i can pass.